Vaping in the Wilderness: A Survival Guide
There are a million situations in which spontaneity and surprise are fun things. A survival situation is not one of them! The next time you find yourself in a wilderness setting and things go sideways, always remember the tiniest things can provide the biggest benefits! Possibly life-saving benefits, even. That mod in your pocket may just get you by in a wilderness-survivial situation!
Folks find themselves lost in the woods all the time. Maybe your plane crashed, maybe your hunt for gold led you astray, or maybe you only watched the first half of Into The Wild. It’s important to keep a pragmatic outlook in a survival situation. If a mod and vaping supplies are in your inventory, you may be able to use these tools to your advantage.
The Gift of Fire:
Any good outdoorsman will tell you the first order of business in survival situation is to find shelter and to build a fire. Luckily, you have multiple fire sources built into your mod. Gather yourself a nice pile of tinder (pine needles and loose dry bark) from the pine trees that surround you. Arrange the tinder into a fire starter with the smaller pieces on the bottom and larger pieces on top. You could attempt to refract direct sunlight through the glass of your tank, and use the focused beam to start the fire. Like a kid burning ants. A more realistic method would be to strip your atomizer down to the bare coil, amp up the wattage to make it glow red-hot, and gently touch it to the tinder. Once you see smoke, blow on the nest until you see flame. Insert you tinder nest under your fire-starter. Spread the tinder-fire to a kindling fire, and as the kindling burns, add larger logs. Soon, you’ll have a roaring flame!
Shelter from the Storm:
Find yourself a large, abrasive, flat rock. Some mods have pretty sturdy metal battery covers. If this is the case, remove the battery cover from your mod. Scrape the flattest edge against the rock until its sharp. Sharpen one side only and only in one direction. You now have a hand-axe blade to chop with. You can wrap your shirt around the hand axe for comfort so you don’t injure yourself while chopping. Use the hand-axe to cut branches to use to build a shelter. Size and shape of your choosing. Obviously, the battery cover won’t be much help in felling a great oak, but using a sharped battery-cover as a glorified knife can help you cut branches into usable dimensions. A sharp blade can do you a world of good in a pinch.
Once your fire is well-established and your shelter is in order, use any leftover branches – leaves included. “Live” branches, with plenty of green on them, work best for producing smoke. Cover and uncover your fire in 5 to 10 second intervals to create broken puffs. Repeat this process until the branch is consumed by fire. Again, some trial and error is to be expected, and you will want several branches to increase the duration of your signals. If no one notices your smoke signals, keep at it every day until someone comes to help.
Now that we have a fire, shelter and emergency signaling capabilities, it’s time to eat! Because you know that any successful campsite will have a water source, identify a bendy branch hanging over the nearby stream. Using small strands of fiber from the cattails around the stream, make yourself a couple long strands of cord and reserve. Carve a mouth or hook into two 12 inch sticks. Drive one stick in the ground directly under the branch you’ve identified. Tie one end of the cord to the remaining hooked piece you carved and the bendy branch hanging over head. Pull the branch down until both hooked pieces of wood interlock together. Tie the other piece of cord to the end of the stick tied to the branch. You should have a few feet of cord to ensure that it will reach a few feet into the water. Remove the Clapton coil from your tank and fashion it into a hook, and tie it to the end of the cord. Using an insect such as a grub worm or beetle for bait, insert the hook into the bait and throw it in the water. You can come back periodically to check to see if you caught anything. Once you catch your fish, clean it according to standard camping practice and cook over the fire until golden brown. If you’re fortunate enough to catch two fish, prepare the second in the same manner. You can use your handy sharpened battery cover for a knife to slice the fish!
Hunting live prey usually takes more energy than it’s worth. Humans can live quite happily on a diet of plants, roots, and berries. It’s a good idea to keep a guidebook of edible plants of the area on your person, but no one really plans on getting lost.
Hydration is crucial to human survival. Make sure your campsite is close to a water source, and you can purify the water by boiling it. A lot of bugs and parasites live in the typical alpine lake. Vaping dehydrates the body, and should be kept to a minimum.
At this point, you can sit back and wait to be rescued while you dine with the bears and raccoons, or begin your transition to hermithood. The choice is yours! At least you don’t have to choose on an empty stomach! Vape on, happy camper.